how long to touch

the water again..

my dreams have been full of water and dolphins lately..my soul misses hawaii.

I'm not sure how long I've been here..over a month, probably about 5 weeks? not sure..a considerable amount of progress has been made i suppose but time drags when you exist to exist instead of meet each day with a full heart. the desert has been a delight but the cold weather is coming and the autumn weather will be gone. i'm pale and have forgotten about what it feels like to have humidity in the air.

the state board is really taking their time issueing my license. it's tough to run akai with any sort of fervor when a clinical that could start asap looms near. i don't want to be too immersed in silk to have to turn around and slow things to complete the clinical..there is more than enough work on the table right now to hold me over for the four weeks that clinical will take. then i am free to wait for a job here in arizona or apply back in hawaii. i may do both at the same time and see who hires me first. if mayo hires me on i'll do a year there..somehow.

such a strange twist to come back to the desert i hated years ago to complete a clinical in hospital type nursing when all along i love hawaii the most and so far, based on limited experience, do not want to work in hospitals

there is a darkness in this house that won't go away..i'm out in the sun enough during the day but this house sits so that it's always in shade. i can't stand it. and i know summer it's too hot to be outside. i can't live indoors. wow i miss hawaii so much.

waiting another phase of the moon..perhaps by this time in 28 days i'll have made it part way thru clinical